The facts: on December 26th Tim Cowlishaw was admitted to a Dallas emergency room with a head wound.
The story: The day after Christmas, Tim Cowlishaw got out of his mind drunk, partied way too hard, fell down, and busted his head open.
The funny part: He passed out in the hospital that night due to being completely wasted, head busted, and pain medicated. He woke up the next day, December 27th, and started freaking out and screaming, “I have to get to Philadelphia, I have to get to Philadelphia!!!” (The Cowboys were playing the Eagles with the playoffs on the line). He tried to leave the hospital but the doctors wouldn’t let him.
The things I found hardest to believe about the story: Cowlishaw is 53. I figured he was 45 at the oldest. I’m not good at judging age, but Cowlishaw looks pretty good for 53. Then again, the only time I see him he is next to Woody Paige, Bob Ryan, and Bill Plaschke, so I guess it is easy to look young.
Also, Cowlishaw was with an absolutely smoking hot chick. I figured he was famous around Dallas, but I was a little shocked to find out how hot this chick was. I was told he has absolutely no problem getting seriously hot tail in Dallas. Sort of amazing.
The Proof: Unfortunately, other than my track record of being a completely honest and stand up guy, I don’t have much proof. It was one of my really good friends that was the eye witness, not me.
I did try to find some proof though. I couldn’t find anything related to this particular night, but there is a documented history of Tim Cowlishaw getting drunk in the presence of hot young ladies:
Busted Coverage 1
Busted Coverage 2
There was nothing posted on Cowlishaw’s Blog between Dec 22 and Jan 1
Tim Cowlishaw Blog
And, Cowlishaw had no columns between Dec 24 and Jan 4:
Tim Cowlishaw Dallas News
Of course it was the holiday season, so its easy to understand why he didn’t write anything. But then again, you think he would have written something for the Dallas/Philly game, right?
One more thing. Wikipedia says he graduated high school in 1973. That puts him right at 53, which is how old my friend said he was.
My friend is a really funny guy, so I know he told the story much better than I was able to write it, but hopefully I was able to express the humor.
I'm not out to trash Cowlishaw. I don't think it is that big of a deal (DUI is about 1000 times worse), everyone has embarrassing drunk stories, and this one was too funny not to share.