Monday, December 29, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Anyway. how disappointed is the company that the two athletes they got to endorse the product are Braylon Edwards and Osi Umenyiora? Those are two terrible endorsements. Honestly, how many people even know who Osi Emenyiora is? Sure he was great last year, but he hasn't played at all this year. And Braylon Edwards – everyone who drafted him in fantasy football regrets it, so the 5 hour energy people must be super pissed off. As I watched his commercials I was wondering how many takes it took to get him to say his lines without dropping the bottle.
At least they didn't go with Plaxico.
At Tampa Bay
At Green Bay
At New Orleans
At NY Jets
At San Francisco
At San Diego
Not a lot of games jump out at me as sure winners. I'll probably take it easy this week, enjoy the Holiday, make a couple small bets and get ready for the playoffs. I do like New England -6.5, though.
I'm at work, so I'll have to clean this post up later. Posting will be probably be lighter than normal the rest of the week.
Immage from fanpop
Saturday, December 20, 2008
One thing struck me as odd, the star of the infomercial: Jimmy Johnson.
Here is the link to Jimmy Johnson’s Better Trade page: Jimmy Johnson Keynoter
There is a video at the bottom where he is giving the Keynote speech to a crowd. It’s not as sleazy as the infomercial, but about a minute into the video he starts making fun of how Jerry Jones always gives the exact same speech.
Unfortunately, I can’t find a video of Johnson on the infomercial, but here is one without him: Better Trades
Kwanzaa - 2500
Festivus - 2966
Christmas - 5626
Hanukah - 7010
I figured Christmas would have been #1, and honestly I figured there would have been more on Festivus.
Friday, December 19, 2008
My early pick of Colts –6.5 covered last night. I really should do more to cover the Thursday games, but I don't get them on TV so it is hard for me to care about them.
Ravens +4.5 @ Cowboys
The Cowboys looked like all their problems went away after they won, and Ed Werder looked like an asshole. Well, Ed Werder ain't no bitch. He is going to come hard at TO after they lose this game. Also, what is about the worst thing Tony Romo's sore back could ask for? The Ravens Defense. Bigger question, for my fantasy Superbowl do I play Owens or Jerricho Cotchery???? Fucked either way.
Steelers –2 @ Titans
I'm changing my mind on this game. It is weird to see the Titans getting 2 points at home, no Albert Haynesworth is a huge problem. After this game, the Titans are going to look like they got kicked in the face.
Dolphins –4 @ Chiefs
The Chiefs just sucks. The Dolphins can make the playoffs. Arrowhead doesn't mean shit when the Chiefs are 2-12. This one is a lock.
Patriots –8.5 vs. Cardinals
JJ Arington and Boldin are probably going to miss this game. Larry Fitzgerald fantasy owners rejoice. As does the Patriots defense. Cards are basically locked into their playoff spot and the Patriots are fighting for theirs. Also, the last time the Cardinals traveled to the East Coast they lost 48-20.
49ers –5.5 @ St. Louis
49ers should win this one, but it's week 16 and both teams are out of the playoffs. So, don't bet on this one unless you REALLY trust Mike Singletary.
Falcons +3.5 @ Vikings
Both teams fighting for the playoffs, but without Pat Williams, I'm going to take the points. I figure the half point will be crucial.
Saints –7 @ Lions
The Lions completely, absolutely, unapologetically, suck to an unholy degree. Plus, Brees needs 2 huge games to catch Marino. Luckily for him, he gets the lions this week.
Giants –3 vs Panthers
I really do not know about this game. My guess is that Carolina is not really as good as they have been the past couple weeks. We will find out Sunday night.Buffalo +6.5 Broncos
Chargers +3.5 @ Bucs
For pure Schadenfreude reasons, I really want to see the 8-8 Chargers in the playoffs and the 11-5 Patriots miss the playoffs. That would be great.
Jets –4.5 vs Seahawks
See Dolphins @ Chiefs.
Texans –7 @ Raiders
Wouldn't surprise me if the Raiders won, but I can't side with Jamarcus Russell. Every time I watch him play he looks worse. And fatter. It is astonishing how awful of a quarterback he is. I have McFadden and Fargis on my fantasy team, so I have been forced to watch too many Raiders games. And he makes me angry every week. I have called him every cuss word I know and he literally makes me sick to my stomach he sucks so fucking bad.
Eagles–4 @ Redskins
The Eagles are looking really good, and it seems the Titans peaked too early. If the Eagles get into the playoffs they are peaking at just the right time. If they don't get in, McNabb will probably look even dumber for not knowing about ties in the NFL.
Bengals+2.5 @ Browns
If you or anyone you know bets on this game, please call 1-800-g-a-m-b-l-e-h-o-l--i-c---a-n-o-n-y-m-o-u-s.
Bears –4 vs Packers
If you haven't figured it out, I'm betting on teams that are trying to get into the playoffs over teams who have no chance of making the playoffs.
I'm not betting all these games, though. Only Dolphins, Saints, Jets, Bears, and maybe the Steelers and the Patriots.
I think I'm starting to get the hang of blogging, I made Deadspin and The Big Lead this week, so I'm proud of that. I'm trying to focus more on the sports part of the blog since football is by far my favorite sport. Once football season is over, I'll post more on non-sports stuff. Also, I fucked up earlier in the week and only picked 12 games. I'm an idiot. Sorry.
Thanks for reading, and as always I welcome all comments and critiques.
*Photo from si.com
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Is it wrong that the first thing I thought was Pretty Woman and Condoleezza Rice?
I found that to be hilarious: "It was just a slobber moment."
I think he was trying to be serious, and it was still really funny. I tried to come up with some funny examples that were not near as funny as "slobber moment":
- Sorry I banged the babysitter hunny, it was just a boner moment.
- Sorry I threw up all over the cat, it was just a vodka moment.
- Sorry I kept throwing the ball to Jason Witten, it was just a gay sex moment.
- Sorry I didn't show up for work last week, it was just a I didn't give a shit moment.
From The Big Lead
"Front, from left, Pamela Moore, fiancee of Jason Michaels; Jaclyn Ayers, fiancee of Aaron Laffey; Abbie Blake, wife of Casey Blake. Back row, Kate Wedge, wife of Eric Wedge; Christine WIlliams, wife of Dan Williams; Molly Peralta, wife of Jhonny Peralta; Amber Sabathia, wife of C. C. Sabathia; Kristen Lee, wife of Cliff Lee."
It accomponies an article about the women's charitable efforts. It keeps them busy while thier husbands play baseball/bang groupies. Sadly the article doesn't mention anything about slumpbusters.
Paul Lukas does pretty cool work for ESPN's Page 2. This time he is writing about Yankee's signing CC Sabathia. He poses the questions "Will CC have the most pinstripes in history?"
The answer, probably.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I was watching the Ravens/Steelers game last Sunday, and when the camera cut to the cheerleaders, I saw something unfortunate. Male Cheerleaders. Seriously. Dude cheereleaders at an NFL game. This is an absolute atrocity!! There should only be 2 images shown during the broadcast. Football and Hot Chicks.
Hot Chicks is not just limited to cheerleaders either. I'm always down for picking out random hot chicks from the crowd (Jen Sterger, Fuck Da Eagles chick, etc). In fact, I have always thought broadcasts of football games did not show enough hot chicks. Do I really need to see that 3 yard run again? Hell no. Show me some tits.
But please, oh please for the love of God do NOT show the coaches.
or the guys in the booth:
Cheerleaders are the main source of hot chicks shown during NFL games, and the Baltimore Ravens are absolutely ruining that tradition. I mean look at these clowns. Who the hell wants to look at dude cheerleaders? Nobody. That's who. Not even there mom/girlfriend. Trust me. They are too busy looking at Visanthe Shiancoe's cock(http://deadspin.com/5104415/visanthe-shiancoe-becomes-a-big-bright-shining-star.
I maintain that no football game can lose quality by showing hot chicks between the football action.
The producers of NBA games have figured this out. I normally don't watch very much basketball, but if they keep showing this smut, I’ll watch every night:
I did some research and found a couple links about the male cheerleaders:
Professional Cheerleader Blog
Male cheerleaders get to stand on the sideline of NFL games and touch hot cheerleaders on the ass, but they have to be male cheerleaders.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Holy Shit! Hannah Storm wears low cut shirts!!
Like I said, I don't regularly watch the show. But does she always wear shirts that are cut that low? Am I making this too big of a deal? If Erin Andrews wore something that revealing, would my boner EVER go away?
One other thought, Josh Elliott is hitting that, right?
Here are my early picks for Week 16. Unfortuantly, I didn't do so well last week (6-8-2). Fortuantly, I have decided to add a picture of a hot chick to my pics. So here is 2007 Playmate of the year, Sara Jean Underwood. Google can help you find NSFW pictures.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Reviewing the facts: 2:06 left on the clock, Second and 5, Bills own 27 yard line, Bills up 27-24. The Bills are trying to run out the clock.
Jauron calls a play action roll out pass. A pass is a great playcall because if the Bills run the ball, the clock will stop at the 2 minute warning. So as long as the Bills pass play takes 6 seconds or longer, the clock will stop at the 2:00 mark.
A play action roll out pass takes longer than just a 3 step drop back. Plus the QB is outside the pocket so he can throw it away without fear of an intentional grounding penalty. The Jets had the line of scrimmage stuffed, so a pass play had the potential to catch the defense off guard and pick up the first down.
Unfortunately for the Bills, the play ended in an absolute worst case scenario. It might not have been best call in the history of football, but it was hardly such a bad call that he deserved to be fired on the spot. Don’t blame the playcall, blame the execution.
Besides, how can you blame a guy that looks this retarded?
During the halftime show, he did the highlights for the Cowboys game and when they showed Tashard Choice's 38 yard touchdown run to clinch the game, Berman called him "Rashard Taster's Choice".
He also went to the commercial by saying Brandon McDonald, E I E I O!!!
I really want that fat fuck to swallow his tongue.
My wife looked up from her book to say, "This guy is horrible, how did he get this job?" Umm, I'm guessing it had something to do with deux, deux, deux's and Hand Jobs.
Just a guess.
I pulled this video off of youtube, but it probably orginated at http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/
If they would have used this frog in my 10th grade Biology class, Coach Beacher wouldn't have had to kill 75 frogs with a ball peen hammer.
The Goliath Bird Eating Spideris going extinct - good. That thing is fucking huge, and might decide it wants to eat me. I hope blogging is one of the direct causes of its extintion, because it is scary looking:
I think it is about 20 minutes long, and it is really well done:
To post something at least every other day.
To post at least one thing per week that is actually good.
To have 1 person read this blog, other than my dog.
To have 1 person leave a comment.
To get a link from one of the main blogs that I read daily (Deadspin, TBL, etc)
[Wow. I did not expect to have anyone read or leave a comment on this blog in the first week, much less have it on Deadspin. However, I also did not expect Andre Ware to flash the shocker at the Heisman ceremony. Commentor JRR42 says that it was not the shocker, but it was a hand sign for the Houston Cougars. I know a girl that went to the University of Houston, and I think the shocker might as well be the hand sign for the Cougars. Hi-OH!!]
Have 1 person subscribe to the RSS on this blog.
Have this blog be the first result on Google for "not a sports blog"
Have one of my friends (who don't know I have this blog) send me a link to something on NASB.
Keep the blog active until football season starts in 2009. (If I can make it through the boring summer, I think I might be around permenantly)
That is a pretty good start on my goals, I'm sure I will have more, and I can always come back and update this post later.
Thanks to Deadspin, JRR42, and Andre Ware for helping me acheiving a couple of those goals.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
On Monday December 1st I placed a bet on Bradford to win the Heisman. He was an even money bet. I figured if Oklahoma beat Missouri for the Big 12 championship, he would win the Heisman, and Oklahoma was a 17 point favorite. By Friday the line on Bradford had moved to -350. Earlier this week the line was up to -500, and earlier today I put another bet on Bradford at -300. I just checked the lines at sportsbook.com and as of 6:00 central, here are the odds:
I decided to make my second bet on Bradford once I saw that these guys projected him to win: http://www.stiffarmtrophy.com/
I remember two weeks ago when I saw Bradford was even money, I thought it was too good to be true, so hopefully this will be a lucrative wager for me. But, if Bradford doesn't win, expect me to get on here and unleash a shitstorm on the voters.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Packers -1.5 at JAGS
The Fred Taylor quote killed any chances I had of picking the JAGS to cover again. He said this is the worst team he has ever played on. Yikes. Plus I think Aaron Rogers still has a lot to play for even if the Packers don't.
Lions +17.5 at COLTS
DAMN that's a lot of points. If the Colts win by 2 touchdowns AND a field goal, they still don't cover! Vegas just barely made the big enough, so I'm changing my mind on this one and taking the points.
Skins -7 at BENGALS
This line moved a little, but not enough. The Skins lost a couple offensive linemen, but the Bengals have lost their soul. They have been outscored 69-6 in the last 2 weeks. Clinton Portis seems pretty fired up for this game, he might score 3 touchdowns and then donkey punch Jim Zorn.
FALCONS -2.5 vs Bucs
The Bucs gave up 950 rushing yards and rushing 12 touchdowns last Monday. The Falcons have two really good running backs, and they are at home. Less than a field goal is a gift.
DOLPHINS -6.5 vs 49ers
I am HUGE 49ers fan. I don't believe they are that good. I've seen Shaun Hill play in person, and he was truly, remarkably terrible. There is no way they cover 3 straight against the AFC East. A related note. I absolutely hate it when people don't pronounce the "H" at the beginning of words. the 'H' should sound like Hugh (like in Hefner) not Ewww (like somebody just shit their pants.) One of the many reasons I want to kill Tony Kornheiser every Monday night.
Seahawks -2.5 RAMS
Apparently the Seahawks don't suck. The Steven Jackson situation closely resembles the Clinton Portis situation, only I think Portis' is constructive and Jackson's is destructive. Just a hunch. I will not be gambling on this game, because I would feel like I had to watch it, and that would be miserable.
Bills +8.5 at JETS
One of my main gambling rules is: Always take Trent Edwards on the road against Brett Favre. Wait, what? This was another game where I changed my mind. 8.5 is just too many points. Plus I enjoy screaming "BEAST MODE" every time Marshawn Lynch touches the ball. He is stupid fast.
Titans -3 at TEXANS
The Texans are on a roll. They beat the Browns, the Jags, and the Packers!!! Which is awesome, except all those teams kind of suck. That being said, I think the Texans year could have been a lot different if it wasn't for that fuckin hurricane. That was this year right? Why is no one talking about this? I think it screwed their team pretty bad. Also, the Titans are REALLY good. They are still undefeated right? That whole thing with the Jets didn't really count did it?
RAVENS -2.5 vs Steelers
The Steelers have played (and won) two big games in a row. I think it catches up with them here and they lose this one. It will probably be close, but a field covers, so i'll take *gulp* Joe Flacco against the Steelers defense. That doesn't sound very good. I'll take the Ravens defense against Ben Roethlisberger. Much better.
PANTHERS -7.5 vs Broncos
One list is a lot longer than the other. And they are at home.
Chargers -5.5 at CHIEFS
I can not bring myself to bet on Tyler Thigpen. I just can't do it. I know the Chiefs have been putting up big numbers, but Thigpen has only won 1 game. And it was against the Chiefs. Plus, the Chargers are not out of the playoffs yet. If they win their next two AND Denver loses their next two, they play each other for the AFC West title. Also, this is the fantasy football playoffs, and LDT hasn't had a big game in a while. I think LDT is going to make up for his less than steller performance and he will explode these next two weeks and earn championships for a lot of grumpy owners.
CARDINALS -3 vs Vikings
I switched my pick on this game. Arizona has been pretty good against the run, and Vikings haven't been too good against the pass. Also, I trust Kurt Warner a whole hell of a lot more than I trust Tarvaris Jackson. In related news, I agree with Will Leitch when he says the Cards have their division clinched, they aren't getting a bye, so sit Warner and let Leinart get some practice/take some beatings. http://deadspin.com/5104672/the-playoff-buzzsaw-that-is-the-arizona-cardinals
Patriots -7 at RAIDERS
Lock of the week. The Raiders took four straight days off after they got Gorrila Masked by San Diego last Thursday. I don't get it. They got beat 34-7 in prime time on semi-National television. That tells me they need more practice, not less. I could understand taking it easy for a couple days. But no lifting, no stretching, no conditioning, no video. Nothing. For 4 days. Randy Moss feels disrespected.
Giants +2..5 at COWBOYS
The second to last game at Texas stadium might be remembered as the game when TO choked Jason Witten to death on the sideline and had to be taken away in hadcuffs. Owens being jealous of their relationship is just weird. This whole thing has a 'fatal attraction' kind of feel to it. And after hearing some of the quotes from anonymous Cowboy's player I wouldn't be surprised if Owens shows up with a black eye on Sunday. Probably not as distracting as the Plaxico Burress shooting last week, but at least the Giants haven't been all over Sportscenter for their off the field stuff this week. Take the money line.
EAGLES -14 vs Browns
ESPN has to be kicking themselves for this game. A 14 point favorite. Two historically dumb coaches. One who weighs 400 pounds and who I'm quite sure stuffs cheesesteaks into his pockets. The other who has fans performing animal sacrifices to get him fired and to have Bill Cower save their franchise. And KEN DORSEY!!!!!!! (22-46, 150 yards, 0 TD's, 2 picks) The Eagles might not cover, but there is no way in hell I would bet on the Browns.
I will be positing more today. Including my finalized football picks.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
USC -10 vs Penn State
Penn State and USC both got the shaft in the BCS, they both only lost 1 game. And both losses were in close games on the road the week after they beat Ohio State. But neither was ever really considered for the BCS Title Game. That sucks for them. I think it will be a good game, but I can't see Penn State winning, so I'll say USC covers.
Virginia Tech vs Cincinnati
Ugh. I would much rather watch House than this game. Actually, I would rather get kicked in the balls than watch this game. I'll take Virginia Tech and I won't be betting on the game.
Alabama -10.5 vs Utah
Did you know that Utah has beat USC in the Las Vegas bowl in 2001, and they beat Pittsburgh in the Fiesta bowl in 2005? Its true. They are 7-0 in bowl games since 1999. Can they PLEASE get a little respect and be in the conversation for the BCS Title Game?? No, ok. Bama covers.
Texas -11 vs Ohio State
Ohio state has no business being in this game. They lost 2 games this year, and their best win is against who? Michigan State? Northwestern? I still think Texas is playing for a split national championship. If they dominate Ohio State and Oklahoma squeaks by Florida the AP could vote for Texas. I really hope there is a split championship so that it proves (again) the BCS doesn't work. Texas will win this game by at least 21 points.
BCS Title Game
Florida -3 vs Oklahoma
Oklahoma has the best offense in the country! The killed Texas Tech!! they won the Big 12!!! They have scored 60 points five games in a row!!!! Bradford is going to beat Tebow for the Heisman!!!!! Why in the world are they 3 point underdogs???
Because they actually suck. Their defense is atrocious, as is the entire Big 12's. Florida has looked just as dominant as Oklahoma, their team was here last year, they have the best quarterback in college football, and they are going to dominate this game on both sides of the foorball. Oklahoma has lost their last 4 BCS bowl games. They gave up 48 points to West Virginia in the Fiesta Bowl last year, and they are going to lose this game too. Badly. Florida rolls by two touchdowns.
I will be placing a decent wager on Texas and a small wager on Florida. I'll take another look at these games after Christmas, so there is a good chance I'll be changing my mind. Later in the week, I'll pick out some other games that I will be betting on as well. Please leave a comment or send me an email if you agree, disagree, or have any inside information: email@example.com
Also, it would be disingenuous if I didn’t mention that I am a total badass when it comes to picking NFL games. I’ve been killing it this year, and I can only expect the trend to continue. Home team in CAPS, my picks in BOLD.
BEARS -3 Saints
Packers -1.5 JAGS
COLTS -16.5 Lions
Skins -6.5 BENGALS
FALCONS -2.5 Bucs
DOLPHINS -6.5 49ers
Seahawks -3 RAMS
JETS -7 Bills
Titans -3 TEXANS
RAVENS -2 Steelers
PANTHERS -7 Broncos
Chargers -5 CHIEFS
Vikings +3 CARDINALS
Patriots -7 RAIDERS
COWBOYS -3 Giants
EAGLES -14 Browns
What the hell?!?! 15 favorites and 1 underdog? Hey, I don’t make the lines, I just beat them. Although, I’m quite sure I’ll be changing my mind by Friday.
The early best bets are the Patriots, Titans, and Bears
Monday, December 8, 2008
Contrary to what the name might suggest, I will be writing about sports. A lot. Especially football. I decided to go with the name “Not a Sports Blog”, because I plan on writing about other topics as well, and I don’t want to piss off anyone who only expects sports. That’s why I’m letting it be known from the beginning that this is not a sports blog.
I hope that clears things up. So let’s get started.
I always appreciate feedback, so please email at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment.
Thanks for stopping by.